Tuesday, October 30, 2012

What I learned in baby classes...

Last weekend/Monday and yesterday evening we attended the first four of our baby classes at the hospital where I will deliver.  We had "Caring for your Newborn" last Saturday morning, the labor and delivery floor tour last Sunday, "Post-partum Care"  last Monday evening and "Breastfeeding" last night.  I probably could have skipped all the classes and just read this helpful cartoon...

but I'll share with you the more interesting tidbits we picked up.
  • Your baby will probably come out looking weird.  It's probably okay.  We went through a list of probably a dozen unfortunately-named conditions a baby can be born with: stork bites, baby acne, mongoloid spots, cone head...  All named to strike fear in the heart of a new mother but none particularly serious.
If the first 30 minutes are any indication, life is rough.  [source]  
  • While the vibe at the hospital is "hotel with reclining beds and flashing lights", there's some pretty hard-core security going on.  After the baby is born, he gets a security tag clamped on his umbilical cord that automatically locks all the doors and elevators when he goes by.  They haven't lost one yet...
  • Everything about post-partum care is gross.  You will be a tired, deflated, leaky water balloon.  Ew.
  • Breast feeding is harder than you would think.  There are more holding positions than a wrestling match.  Anyone who does it until their kid is 5 is in serious need of a new hobby.
We have our final class - labor and delivery - on Saturday morning.  It's an all day event and we're supposed to bring pillows, blankets, and an exercise/birth ball if we have one.  Should be interesting...


  1. I just found your blog from SR. This made me laugh out loud. Thanks for that!

  2. Glad you liked it. Come back and visit again.